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Moving on After Divorce

Guide to Moving on After Divorce

How do I move on after Divorce?

You may be asking yourself, “How am I going to move on after such a difficult situation like divorce?”  The answer is the process of moving on after divorce is not simple, but possible.  You’re going to have to accept that fact the divorce is final but also realize that life goes on after divorce.  It’s normal to feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, and even grief, but you should realize that these feelings will eventually subside with time.  

If you have accepted the divorce and begun to let go, there a number of steps you can take to move on and begin a new life.  Every person is different, but these steps can apply to everyone:

1) Make sure you set the boundaries and establish the guidelines for the new relationship with your former spouse.  If you have children, you want to act as respectful as possible around each other.  

2) Either together or separately from your spouse, talk to your children about the divorce.   Children and even teenagers take a divorce hard because of thinking it’s their fault, but constantly remind them that the divorce wasn’t their fault.  Become as involved as possible with their lives, and offer suggestions of what they can do to help the transition from a two parent household to separate places of residence.  

3) Keep track of your finances.  The divorce brings economic burden to each spouse regardless if they’re receiving support or not.  Make your standards adjustable to your income and liabilities. 

4) Ask for help from the people nearest to you.  Remember that you may lose some mutual friends of your former spouse and you, but remember that your closest friends will almost always help you.  Rely on your friends and family for emotional support and motivation at the same time.  If you need to talk to a professional, don’t be afraid to seek this kind of help either.  

5) If you change homes, makes changes or buy a home with features you’ve always wanted.  These features don’t have to be expensive; they just have to be unique and fitted to your style.  Ask your kids for suggestions, do things to the home that your kids can help with and then eventually take part in.  

6) Find new hobbies and pursue a passionate life.  If you’ve never done something before, it’s never too late to start.  Make goals to learn a new skill such as art, cooking, woodworking, a new exercise routine, or anything else.  

7) Be open to new relationships, but look out for yourself at the same time.  You shouldn’t just jump into a new relationship because you want the comfort of someone else.  You’ve learned lessons from your former marriage, and you should do everything in your power to stick to those lessons.  

8) While trying new things, still keep a certain routine.  You don’t want your work life to fall out of balance with your social life.  You may feel like the same routine makes you think of the divorce, but know that your new life will again eventually wrap around your work life and children.  

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