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Helping Children Cope With Divorce


Helping Children Cope With Divorce

The ultimate suffering in any divorce really hits home with one part of the family: the children. Truthfully, helping children cope with divorce has to be the main priority among parents, no matter how much the parents can’t get along.

The Main Problem With Parents

When helping children cope with divorce, sadly most parents tend to freeze up when facing the issue of talking with the children about it. That’s to be expected, though. A lot of times even parents feel a sense of guilt that the marriage couldn’t work out and that the children inevitably will suffer needlessly.

With guidance and instruction, though, parents can become effective in helping children cope with divorce in the best way possible: simply by being there.

What to Say When Your Children Ask You What’s Going to Happen

If there was ever a time when parents wouldn’t know what to say, this is it. It’s hard explaining something like divorce to any child, because there’s the fear that the child may not understand.

Know this: children understand a whole lot more than people will give credit for. So the bottom line is to not sugar-coat anything for the children. Be truthful.

A lot of times the issues children may have with a divorce is the question “Why?” Why are mommy and daddy splitting up? Many times it can tear apart at a child who doesn’t understand why the family’s literally separating. Helping the child(ren) know why a divorce is occurring – with something as simple as ‘your mom and I are just not working out as a couple’ – is crucial.

However, know that compassion and love are important as well. Remind children that it doesn’t mean that you and the other parent will stop being ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ There will always be a ‘partnership’ to be parents. But the marriage, the husband and wife, will end due to differences.

Of course, helping children cope with divorce gets a great deal of hope with lots of love, lots of saying that you love them, you love them, you love them, to remind them that you’ll always be there, you’ll always call, you’ll always write letters, and that the other parent will always gladly allow that kind of contact as well.

The Parent Partnership Undoubtedly Is Important

Getting or not getting along is one thing. Working together for the child(ren) is completely different. This is ‘Helping Children Cope With Divorce’ 101.

If parents can’t be a united front, the children end up thinking that they’re not important. All they’ll see is fighting. Parents can think of the divorce as a chance for them to live apart and function much more normally than when together.

It may be easier to ‘get along’ when apart. Focusing on that and learning to agree on the parenting is important. When there are disagreements on the decisions of the child(ren), it hurts the child the most.

Helping Children Cope With Divorce Helps Them Live the Best Lives

Again, it’s the first priority. Even when divorce is all about the parents, the reality is the end result of the divorce will mainly be about the kids. It has to be.

If not, they’ll get lost in life. And that in all honesty may be the worst nightmare for any parent.

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