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Dealing with Divorce


Quick Guide to Dealing with Divorce

If you go through a divorce, you should know that it’s probably going to be one of the hardest and most stressful points in your life.  There is a massive amount of paperwork, meetings with family law attorneys, and negotiations within a court hearing in some cases.  Once the divorce becomes final, the stress and hardships don’t end there either.  You will likely experience bouts of grief and sadness, but you should know that these feelings are normal.  You can also take certain steps to help in dealing with divorce. 

These steps involve actions before filing for divorce and after the divorce becomes final.  

Dealing with Divorce Before Filing

Every divorce is different, but you should still consider taking the following steps before filing for a divorce:

1) Be honest with your spouse.  This step seems obvious, but honesty will put everyone on the same page and help the divorce proceedings.  Tell your spouse that you want a divorce instead of simply sending a petition.  Suggest that you reach a divorce settlement outside of court and be willing to make compromises.  You may not be able to reach an agreement outside of court, but if you do, the divorce process will move much faster and everyone will experience much less stress.  

2) If you have children, sit down and talk with them before the divorce takes place.  Let your children know that adults grow apart, and it’s normal.  Tell them that none of this is their fault, and listen to everything your children have to say.  Divorce is extremely hard for children, but the more support they receive from the parents, the better off they will be in the end.  Sit down with your children together, as a family, and discuss everything that needs to be discussed.

Dealing with Divorce After the Final Court Hearing

There are a number step you can take to deal with your emotions and family situation after a divorce.  Depending on your type of divorce, you should consider taking the following steps:

1) Spend as much time as you possibly can with your children.  Ask the children how they are feeling, and become actively involved in all aspects of their life.  Attend sporting events, school events, and bring the child to as many family events as possible.  

2) Maintain a healthy relationship with your former spouse.  Treat your former spouse with as much respect as possible in front of the children, and never talk badly about the other parent in front of the child or anyone that may regularly talk with the child.  Don’t avoid events for your child just because your former spouse is going to be there.  Children need to see that their parents are willing to associate and be happy.  

3) Expect periodic feeling of sadness and grief.  Know how to deal with these feelings, and avoid making unhealthy decisions in your dating life or personal life.  Seek counseling if you need it, and rely on good friends and even new friends for support as well.  

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